THE BEAUTY OF DISCONNECT
The beauty of disconnect.
Being present in the moment.
Listening. Watching. Observing. Understanding. Internalizing. Accepting. Healing.
The sea has a way of humbling me and calming my soul, more then any other aspect of my life outside of my family. Perhaps it is because when I am out in the middle, putting my trust completely in her, she demands my full attention. When she is rough she pulls all my focus towards her, leaving no room for error. When she is calm, she puts my mind and my heart at ease, allowing my mind to open, wander & reflect…and my heart to heal.
On a recent sail onboard VO 70 Maserati from San Francisco to San Diego I was sitting out on deck looking up at the stars during watch the first night and realized it was the first time I had taken the time to look up at the stars in a really long time. The sky was completely clear, the sea was calm and the air was light, allowing me to clear my head and my mind to wander. My thoughts passed over all the events that have happened over the past few months within our sailing community, as well as events in my personal life, my friends and my family. With strong aspirations to do the 2014 Volvo Ocean Race as an Onboard Reporter I began mulling over my own reasons for wanting to be at sea, with one question staying at the forefront of my mind….The question: why?
Why do we choose to embrace a life with so much risk? Why do we accept the possibility that when we leave the dock we may get injured or, worse, we may not come home? What drives us to make and accept these decisions? Why do our friends, family and loved ones let us go? Is it becuase they know that a part of us would be lost if they don’t let us go? Do they understand that once we allow the sea to touch our hearts and our soul there is no turning back, it becomes a part of who we are? I’ve never been on the dock at the start of a Volvo Ocean race but I can only imagine the range of emotion felt on the dock.
My answer came to me while sipping a cup of coffee on morning watch, looking out at the horizon waiting for wind. I am driven by my passion for story telling, desiring more than anything to be up close and personal to the action. I am driven by the satisfaction of overcoming my fears and the little part of “crazy” that goes with it. My family is strong and supportive, they may not completely understand but they give me their love, strength and support. My ultimate goal is to be true to myself and to the people whose stories I am being allowed to tell because they put a lot of trust in me to accurately, genuinely and respectfully tell their story.
Below are some photos from my first of many miles to be spent with this crew and boat…the beginning of a new chapter 😉